What happens to a wine person when they stop drinking wine?

I think this is one of the harder parts of changing our relationship with alcohol that we don't talk about enough.

Because for many of us, wine isn't just something we drink.

Over the years, we invest in it.

We learn what we like. We develop a palate. We know the regions, the wineries, the restaurants and what to order.

We plan weekends around it. We build rituals around Friday nights, long lunches, holidays and catching up with friends.

Eventually, it can become part of our identity.

You're not just someone who drinks wine.

You're a wine person.

So when you start questioning how much you're drinking, you're potentially questioning a lot more than what's in your glass.

What will we do on Friday night?

Will I still enjoy the long lunch?

What will our weekends away look like?

Will my friendships change?

Who am I if I'm not the person who knows which Chardonnay to order?

That's why I think simply telling someone to "drink less" seriously underestimates what behaviour change can involve.

Sometimes we're not just changing a habit.

We're changing part of who we've become. How we see ourselves, and how others see us.

So if you're thinking about changing your relationship with alcohol, perhaps spend some time thinking about the identity that's wrapped around it.

What are you worried about losing?

And then turn the question around.

Who are you trying to become instead?

It's much easier to leave something behind when you have somewhere you want to go.

I've written more about this in Why Wine Culture Makes Drinking Harder to Question.